Why Women Fall in Love with Men Who Aren't Good for Them
Why Women Fall in Love with Men Who Aren't Good for Them
ConfrontationalEdge
ConfrontationalEdge
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Mar 3, 2023
In my last post, I talked about masculinity and how it's one of the key factors that generate attraction. In doing so, I brushed upon one (seemingly) paradoxical aspect to female nature: Women will oftentimes say they want a sweet, caring man who's soft & sensitive and how they don't like men who are players or do [insert f*ckboy quality here], yet continue to fall for these exact same men they claim to dislike, all while ignoring the "nice guys" who take her "advice" about the type of men that women like in the hopes these women will fall for them. Some men may view the douchebags & f*ckboys negatively due to lacking adab (manners) and akhlaq (morality), but still wonder how such men are able to attract women over those who are sweet & well-mannered, especially when this is the complete opposite of what women say they want. To sum up briefly why this is, it's because while those other men (i.e. douchebags/f*ckboys) tend to be jerks, they still show strength and drive.
The reason is simple: in making yourself "sweet" and "caring" and "kind" and "polite", etc. you have suppressed your masculinity, your strength, your toughness—the very essence of the thing that makes you a man! You aren't sweet and caring and kind and sensitive towards her because you genuinely care about her, but because you made yourself subservient to her! You made yourself weak. And the things you do—they're all done out of that same weakness. Excessive acts of kindness don't show that you're chivalrous, it just comes across as pathetic and groveling. You aren't doing these things out of strength, you aren't doing them while remaining masculine and tough, you do it because you cower in fear. In fear of what, you say? In fear of her, that she won't "like" you, that she might not find you attractive, that she might not sleep with you, that she'll get angry at you and show it in passive aggressive ways like giving you the silent treatment or some other petty behavior, that you'll get into arguments (the ones you avoid because you're afraid of confrontation). You do whatever she says because you are weak, trying so hard to placate her while she looks at you further in disgust the more you do for her because of how you continue emasculating yourself in her name by capitulating and kowtowing to her every want and whim like a spineless servile slave. You are a sycophant. You have no self-respect, no dignity, no pride, and while the douchebag might be egotistical and arrogant, he still has all of these that YOU lack. Even when you "respect" her by "asking for her consent" before sexual intimacy—it's not you asking if she's comfortable, it's you seeking her approval and needing her validation as if you are too unsure of yourself and lack the confidence to take the lead and take her. And while consent is important, it's still the man who has to make the first move because the man is supposed to be dominant. And every woman can attest to desiring a dominant man in bed. You might be afraid of losing her or any progress you made with her and claim that's why you give in to her demands, but little do you know that you were already losing well before any of this ever started...
I'm not saying to become like those douchebags you see who play with women's hearts and end up hurting them, that's not the point. There are problems with those men too. While exuding some form of strength, they can't control it. They might be confident, but they're also arrogant. They might be tough, but they are also cold & uncaring. They might be strong, but they also aren't bothered if others are harmed by that strength. They might have some drive/ambition, yet they are selfish and oftentimes lack discipline and a sense of duty. And while they're not a slave to women or society or any rules thereof and are strong because they aren't afraid of going after what they want, they ARE still a slave to their desires.
Have you seen the one who takes as his god his own desire? Then would you be responsible for him? (Qur'an 25:40)
So what's the balance? And why do women say they want sweet, caring men, yet still fall for guys who aren't really these things? Are they lying? NO! They do want a man who's sweet and caring, but in one who has a backbone! They do want a man who's soft with them, but not because he's a pushover. They do want a man who's gentle, but not because he lacks strength. They do want a man who's confident—maybe even smug and overconfident—but not one who makes her feel lesser out of arrogance. When women say they want men with these traits, they're saying that they want them in men who are already strong. Just because they want a man who treats them well does NOT mean they want a weak-willed man. They want a man who's got that edge to him; they just don't want him to use it against them or hurt them with it.
You be that strong, tough, rough & rugged, dominant man; you just don't hurt her. You be that gentle, caring, affectionate man; you just don't be afraid to show her your strength in the process.
The balance is this: you control your strength, power, and your masculine drive. You do not suppress it. Self-control and strong-willed discipline only show further strength and masculinity, and that's what actually makes women gush because it shows that you have integrity, and that if anything, you cannot be swayed by your desires. It's the sign of a great man.
لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِٱللَّٰهِ ٱلْعَلِيِّ ٱلْعَظِيمِ
In my last post, I talked about masculinity and how it's one of the key factors that generate attraction. In doing so, I brushed upon one (seemingly) paradoxical aspect to female nature: Women will oftentimes say they want a sweet, caring man who's soft & sensitive and how they don't like men who are players or do [insert f*ckboy quality here], yet continue to fall for these exact same men they claim to dislike, all while ignoring the "nice guys" who take her "advice" about the type of men that women like in the hopes these women will fall for them. Some men may view the douchebags & f*ckboys negatively due to lacking adab (manners) and akhlaq (morality), but still wonder how such men are able to attract women over those who are sweet & well-mannered, especially when this is the complete opposite of what women say they want. To sum up briefly why this is, it's because while those other men (i.e. douchebags/f*ckboys) tend to be jerks, they still show strength and drive.
The reason is simple: in making yourself "sweet" and "caring" and "kind" and "polite", etc. you have suppressed your masculinity, your strength, your toughness—the very essence of the thing that makes you a man! You aren't sweet and caring and kind and sensitive towards her because you genuinely care about her, but because you made yourself subservient to her! You made yourself weak. And the things you do—they're all done out of that same weakness. Excessive acts of kindness don't show that you're chivalrous, it just comes across as pathetic and groveling. You aren't doing these things out of strength, you aren't doing them while remaining masculine and tough, you do it because you cower in fear. In fear of what, you say? In fear of her, that she won't "like" you, that she might not find you attractive, that she might not sleep with you, that she'll get angry at you and show it in passive aggressive ways like giving you the silent treatment or some other petty behavior, that you'll get into arguments (the ones you avoid because you're afraid of confrontation). You do whatever she says because you are weak, trying so hard to placate her while she looks at you further in disgust the more you do for her because of how you continue emasculating yourself in her name by capitulating and kowtowing to her every want and whim like a spineless servile slave. You are a sycophant. You have no self-respect, no dignity, no pride, and while the douchebag might be egotistical and arrogant, he still has all of these that YOU lack. Even when you "respect" her by "asking for her consent" before sexual intimacy—it's not you asking if she's comfortable, it's you seeking her approval and needing her validation as if you are too unsure of yourself and lack the confidence to take the lead and take her. And while consent is important, it's still the man who has to make the first move because the man is supposed to be dominant. And every woman can attest to desiring a dominant man in bed. You might be afraid of losing her or any progress you made with her and claim that's why you give in to her demands, but little do you know that you were already losing well before any of this ever started...
I'm not saying to become like those douchebags you see who play with women's hearts and end up hurting them, that's not the point. There are problems with those men too. While exuding some form of strength, they can't control it. They might be confident, but they're also arrogant. They might be tough, but they are also cold & uncaring. They might be strong, but they also aren't bothered if others are harmed by that strength. They might have some drive/ambition, yet they are selfish and oftentimes lack discipline and a sense of duty. And while they're not a slave to women or society or any rules thereof and are strong because they aren't afraid of going after what they want, they ARE still a slave to their desires.
Have you seen the one who takes as his god his own desire? Then would you be responsible for him? (Qur'an 25:40)
So what's the balance? And why do women say they want sweet, caring men, yet still fall for guys who aren't really these things? Are they lying? NO! They do want a man who's sweet and caring, but in one who has a backbone! They do want a man who's soft with them, but not because he's a pushover. They do want a man who's gentle, but not because he lacks strength. They do want a man who's confident—maybe even smug and overconfident—but not one who makes her feel lesser out of arrogance. When women say they want men with these traits, they're saying that they want them in men who are already strong. Just because they want a man who treats them well does NOT mean they want a weak-willed man. They want a man who's got that edge to him; they just don't want him to use it against them or hurt them with it.
You be that strong, tough, rough & rugged, dominant man; you just don't hurt her. You be that gentle, caring, affectionate man; you just don't be afraid to show her your strength in the process.
The balance is this: you control your strength, power, and your masculine drive. You do not suppress it. Self-control and strong-willed discipline only show further strength and masculinity, and that's what actually makes women gush because it shows that you have integrity, and that if anything, you cannot be swayed by your desires. It's the sign of a great man.
لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِٱللَّٰهِ ٱلْعَلِيِّ ٱلْعَظِيمِ
In my last post, I talked about masculinity and how it's one of the key factors that generate attraction. In doing so, I brushed upon one (seemingly) paradoxical aspect to female nature: Women will oftentimes say they want a sweet, caring man who's soft & sensitive and how they don't like men who are players or do [insert f*ckboy quality here], yet continue to fall for these exact same men they claim to dislike, all while ignoring the "nice guys" who take her "advice" about the type of men that women like in the hopes these women will fall for them. Some men may view the douchebags & f*ckboys negatively due to lacking adab (manners) and akhlaq (morality), but still wonder how such men are able to attract women over those who are sweet & well-mannered, especially when this is the complete opposite of what women say they want. To sum up briefly why this is, it's because while those other men (i.e. douchebags/f*ckboys) tend to be jerks, they still show strength and drive.
The reason is simple: in making yourself "sweet" and "caring" and "kind" and "polite", etc. you have suppressed your masculinity, your strength, your toughness—the very essence of the thing that makes you a man! You aren't sweet and caring and kind and sensitive towards her because you genuinely care about her, but because you made yourself subservient to her! You made yourself weak. And the things you do—they're all done out of that same weakness. Excessive acts of kindness don't show that you're chivalrous, it just comes across as pathetic and groveling. You aren't doing these things out of strength, you aren't doing them while remaining masculine and tough, you do it because you cower in fear. In fear of what, you say? In fear of her, that she won't "like" you, that she might not find you attractive, that she might not sleep with you, that she'll get angry at you and show it in passive aggressive ways like giving you the silent treatment or some other petty behavior, that you'll get into arguments (the ones you avoid because you're afraid of confrontation). You do whatever she says because you are weak, trying so hard to placate her while she looks at you further in disgust the more you do for her because of how you continue emasculating yourself in her name by capitulating and kowtowing to her every want and whim like a spineless servile slave. You are a sycophant. You have no self-respect, no dignity, no pride, and while the douchebag might be egotistical and arrogant, he still has all of these that YOU lack. Even when you "respect" her by "asking for her consent" before sexual intimacy—it's not you asking if she's comfortable, it's you seeking her approval and needing her validation as if you are too unsure of yourself and lack the confidence to take the lead and take her. And while consent is important, it's still the man who has to make the first move because the man is supposed to be dominant. And every woman can attest to desiring a dominant man in bed. You might be afraid of losing her or any progress you made with her and claim that's why you give in to her demands, but little do you know that you were already losing well before any of this ever started...
I'm not saying to become like those douchebags you see who play with women's hearts and end up hurting them, that's not the point. There are problems with those men too. While exuding some form of strength, they can't control it. They might be confident, but they're also arrogant. They might be tough, but they are also cold & uncaring. They might be strong, but they also aren't bothered if others are harmed by that strength. They might have some drive/ambition, yet they are selfish and oftentimes lack discipline and a sense of duty. And while they're not a slave to women or society or any rules thereof and are strong because they aren't afraid of going after what they want, they ARE still a slave to their desires.
Have you seen the one who takes as his god his own desire? Then would you be responsible for him? (Qur'an 25:40)
So what's the balance? And why do women say they want sweet, caring men, yet still fall for guys who aren't really these things? Are they lying? NO! They do want a man who's sweet and caring, but in one who has a backbone! They do want a man who's soft with them, but not because he's a pushover. They do want a man who's gentle, but not because he lacks strength. They do want a man who's confident—maybe even smug and overconfident—but not one who makes her feel lesser out of arrogance. When women say they want men with these traits, they're saying that they want them in men who are already strong. Just because they want a man who treats them well does NOT mean they want a weak-willed man. They want a man who's got that edge to him; they just don't want him to use it against them or hurt them with it.
You be that strong, tough, rough & rugged, dominant man; you just don't hurt her. You be that gentle, caring, affectionate man; you just don't be afraid to show her your strength in the process.
The balance is this: you control your strength, power, and your masculine drive. You do not suppress it. Self-control and strong-willed discipline only show further strength and masculinity, and that's what actually makes women gush because it shows that you have integrity, and that if anything, you cannot be swayed by your desires. It's the sign of a great man.
لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِٱللَّٰهِ ٱلْعَلِيِّ ٱلْعَظِيمِ